


The Stars That Gaze Back

by revanchistsuperstar



Series: The Stardust Legacy [3]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: "I thought you were dead.", Angst, F/M, Fake Character Death, M/M, Not Really Character Death, Original Character(s), Polyamory, Reunions, Star-crossed, Theron Shan is a dramatic bisexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 02:01:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14250687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revanchistsuperstar/pseuds/revanchistsuperstar
Summary: Formerly titled “The Spy and the Scorpion”. In the wake of SCORPIO’s betrayal and Empress Vaylin’s ascent to the Eternal Throne, Ixaleii jumps on the chance to gain intel from the former Cipher Nine, who has been hiding on Zakuul after faking his death. What she doesn’t realize is that Theron and the Cipher have an extensive and painful past with one another, and one that Theron still hasn’t quite recovered from.





	The Stars That Gaze Back

“Someone you know Theron?”

The sharpness of Lana’s voice brought Theron Shan about as close to his senses as he was capable considering who he was sure he had just seen speaking with his wife and Kaliyo Djannis. At first, he’d assumed it was Corso Riggs, judging by the mop of dreads atop the tall stranger’s head, but when he turned, his blue skinned face and the flash of glowing red eyes meant the man had to be a Chiss. And there was only one Chiss Theron had ever met who had rippling acid scars dotted across his face in the very particular pattern this man did. Theron felt his heart stop. If he was right, it was a man he hadn’t seen in years, and had never expected to see again in his life. After all, it was a man who was supposed to be dead. His brain fogged, trying to make sense of it, and his heart began to pound in spite of himself.

“Yeah,” he said to Lana, not taking his eyes from the Chiss. “Yeah, I think it might be. Uh… I… Could you give me a—”

“Oh, just go Theron. You’re no good when you’re distracted.”

“Lana Beniko, you’re a treasure, do I tell you that often?” he said, packing up his datapad. The blonde Sith smirked at him, shaking her head slightly.

“Only when you’re shirking your responsibilities and asking me to pick up the slack. Which admittedly isn’t often.”

Theron smiled at her, thankful, and took off full tilt. It had to be him.

And’it’tehtann. Cipher Nine.

Theron could remember as clear as it was yesterday the day he’d met Cipher Nine for the first time. He’d read all about him of course. The Imperial Cipher agent had an SIS dossier as thick as Theron’s thumb—which wasn’t altogether unexpected for a Cipher agent. But Cipher Nine was anything but a typical Cipher agent. He was a legend.

He was the Cipher agent responsible for all but single-handedly taking down the Star Cabal, and all of this after Imperial Intelligence had been cannibalized by its own Empire. So technically the man Theron met was Lieutenant And’it’tehtann, liaison officer representing the Chiss Ascendancy, formerly of the Csilla Secret Police. Cipher Nine had stopped existing the moment Imperial Intelligence was torn apart brick by brick at the insane whim of the Dark Council. But to the members of the intelligence community, he would never be anything else.

Easily the first thing to be noticed about Cipher Nine was his stature. The man was physically imposing, to say the least. He easily filled the frame of any given doorway with his height. However, though he was obviously muscular, he wasn’t bulky, but rather lean and lithe. Theron had absolutely no doubt that the agent before him could easily overpower him and gut him like a fish in the blink of an eye using the vibroknife sheathed on his thigh, and not only that:  he was sure Cipher Nine would have no qualms about doing so.

The Chiss’s face was broad and finely featured, with high cheekbones and a well angled jawline, and his skin was a dusky shade of blue grey somewhat uncommon amongst his kind. His bright red eyes had a shrewd quality about them, framed by angled brows and accentuated by the light smirk he wore on his lips. The most prominent feature on the man’s face, though, had to be the series of raised and pitted scars which covered the entire left side of it. It was almost as if that entire side of his face was a brook, and the scars were the stones which made its bed.

He looked over to Theron, and the SIS agent swore he could feel his implants buzz as a chill ran down his spine. Cipher Nine was every bit as imposing as his file suggested he should be.

“So you’re my fan in the SIS,” he said, obviously amused. His voice was just as cold as his appearance, which Theron reasoned made sense for a man who grew up on an ice planet. The Cipher’s Basic had a refined Imperial accent, which only added to the effect.

“Theron Shan,” Theron said, extending his hand. “And, uh, yes. I suppose you could say I am. Welcome to my ship, Cipher Nine.”

The Cipher smiled, and shook the agent’s hand. He had a firm grip.

“They call me Lieutenant Tann nowadays,” he said, still with the air of amusement about his voice. Something about the situation was humorous to him, and Theron found himself at a loss as to what.

“Your file had a different name,” Theron remarked. “Longer. More… Chiss sounding, I guess.”

“You know the Empire,” he said, moving to sit down. “They didn’t like having to struggle to pronounce my name, so they shortened it nonsensically. Can’t say I mind though, seeing as I’ve never cared much for my core name.”

“Core name?”

Cipher Nine waved his hand as if indicating it was too much to explain.

“It’s a Chiss custom. My parents were so kind as to bless me with the name ‘Ditt.’ It’s short for And’it’tehtann. That’s the name you probably saw in your file”

“Ditt,” Theron repeated, understanding the Cipher’s dislike of it. “Yeah uh… Can’t say I blame you. Though Tann seems just as bad almost. So arbitrary. I might as well call you Teht.”

Cipher Nine actually laughed out loud at that remark.

“Teht,” he said, still laughing. “I like that. I’ll have to remember it.” He laughed to himself for a moment, and then shook his head. “Well as much as I wish I were here to just share conversation and look at your pretty face Agent Shan, I am here for a reason. You told me you have information. Information I want.”

Theron blushed. He had to admit to himself, he’d noticed Cipher Nine was attractive from the moment the spy had walked through his airlock, and though he was sure the Chiss was joking, it felt nice to have his ego stroked by someone he found so appealing. He cleared his throat, trying his best to remain focused.

“Yes. You should follow me.”

The rest of the meeting went without a hitch. Theron was able to give Cipher Nine some info and files regarding his time as a captive of the Republic that he hadn’t seen, and Cipher Nine was just a helpful regarding the questions Theron had of him about the Star Cabal, and of the vague rumors about a cult referred to as the Revanites that Cipher Nine actually had firsthand knowledge of.

“It’s a pity we’re on opposite sides,” Theron said nonchalantly. “I have a feeling we’d make a hell of a team.”

“I’ve tried defecting to your Republic more than once,” Cipher Nine replied. “Nobody’s been able to give me what I want.”

Theron was stunned. He knew technically, Cipher Nine was reporting to Ardun Kothe as an asset of the Republic. That’s how Theron had been able to secure this meeting, after all. But even Kothe severely doubted just how forthcoming the Cipher agent was being regarding what he saw in the Empire. The info he gave always checked out, but Kothe also mentioned that often it came seconds too late, or didn’t come at all.

“What is it that you want?” Theron asked, genuinely curious.

“To be accepted,” Cipher Nine said without skipping a beat. “And to be free.”

The openness of the admission surprised Theron, to be sure, but he also completely understood. There was no way anyone in the Republic could give him that. A Chiss like him? People would always be wary. The Republic harbored a great deal less anti-alien sentiment than the Sith Empire, that was for sure, but the Chiss Ascendancy had allied itself with the Empire, and therefore Chiss in the Republic were rare. And they stood out. Plus, if Cipher Nine came to work for the SIS in a more official capacity, there would always be those who distrusted him simply on the basis of his past affiliations. Theron felt genuinely sorry for the guy. He was trapped in an Empire that he’d had no say over his people allying with. And it was an Empire that tended to make people disappear if they didn’t live up to expectations. That had to be exhausting.

“I know how you feel,” he said. It was Cipher Nine’s turn to be surprised.

“You can’t mean you’ve dreamt of joining the Empire.”

“No, nothing like that,” Theron confirmed shaking his head. “But I know you know who I am. You probably have a file on your datapad just as expansive as the one I have on you. You know who my mother is. And what my childhood was like.”

The Cipher just nodded slowly, his glowing red eyes inscrutable.

They finished up quickly after that. Standing at the airlock, Theron found himself unsure of what to say, and was thankful when Cipher Nine spoke first.

“We’ll have to do this again,” he said, as casually as if they’d shared a drink in a cantina. “It was nice talking with you Theron. It’s not often I find someone I can be honest with.”

Theron laughed.

“I don’t doubt that in the slightest, Cipher. We’ll be in touch.”

“Hopefully sooner rather than later,” Cipher Nine said with a smile. And then, smooth as you please, he leaned in and kissed Theron gently on the lips. Theron stood there in shock as the Chiss left his ship. He slowly brought his fingers to his lips reflexively, touching them as if he wasn’t even sure they were there.

That had been his first meeting with Cipher Nine.

After that, they found ways to meet fairly frequently. Sometimes they exchanged information. Sometimes they talked. Most times, they made passionate love for hours on end.

One time that stood out particularly in Theron’s memory, Cipher Nine had fucked him so thoroughly that he’d not only orgasmed twice, but had been brought to tears. He’d never forget the way Cipher Nine had cupped his face after that, kissing his tear tracks and pulling him in close.

“It’s okay Theron, I’ve got you. You’re okay. Did I hurt you?”

“Teht, no, I……” Theron trailed off, but he felt Cipher Nine’s muscles relax upon hearing Theron call him by his pet name.  Theron swallowed, unsure if he wanted to say what was on his mind. “It was good. It was so good.”

“It’s only going to get better,” Cipher Nine assured him, and there was something so certain in the way that he said it that Theron almost believed him. But he couldn’t have been more wrong.

Their bliss didn’t last long. Theron knew from the beginning that it couldn’t possibly last, but that didn’t make it any less jarring when it came crashing down around their ears.

He first knew something was wrong when Cipher Nine showed up for one of their secret rendezvous in a new uniform, looking austere and far away. Theron leaned in to kiss him, as he always did, but the Chiss stiffened, pushing him away.

“Teht, what…?”Theron began, and Cipher Nine looked down, shaking his head.

“I’ve been promoted,” he said, without the faintest trace of excitement at that prospect detectable in his voice. “I report directly to Darth Marr now. He’s sending me to Makeb. He… He knows about you, Theron. There’s no hiding anything from him. I’ve been advised to end our relationship… Or ‘risk seeing it ended in a more definitive and painful fashion.’”

“Shit,” Theron said plainly. His knees went weak. He looked around for somewhere to sit, but ended up simply sinking to the ground. Cipher Nine kneeled before him.

“I’m never going to forget you Theron Shan,” he said solemnly. “Never.”

“Well that’s good at least,” Theron said sarcastically, running his fingers through his hair in distress. “We’ll never speak again but you’ll have the memories, right?” He tried not to let on how close to tears he was.

“Theron, please,” Cipher Nine said. Theron could tell by his tone of voice that the Cipher was devastated, barely holding it together. He kissed Theron then, hard, and Theron kissed back, desperate. Eventually, Cipher Nine pulled his lips away and pressed his forehead against Theron’s, breathing heavily.

“Teht…” Theron begain, but he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say. Don’t do this? We can run away together? As much as Theron wanted it to be feasible, he knew it wasn’t. If they ran, they’d be hunted. And Darth Marr wasn’t known for letting his enemies escape.

“I have to go, Theron,” Cipher Nine said hoarsely. “I won’t forget you. I promise.”

And that was all he said before standing and leaving Theron there on the ground, reeling.

That should have been the end of it, then and there. But it wasn’t. For months, Theron heard nothing. He met Ixaleii. Then Manaan happened. Then Rakata Prime. Rishi and Yavin 4 came right after that, and by that time his relationship with Ixaleii had blossomed. But then there was Ziost. Possibly the biggest nightmare of his career. He could so clearly remember how Ix had looked at him, offered him comfort, and how absolutely wrong he’d felt even considering her affection at that moment. He had the blood of thousands of people on his hands, Ixaleii couldn’t possibly understand. She was always the hero. She didn’t have those kind of regrets weighing on her conscience.

Just as he was preparing to leave Imperial space, his holoterminal began to ring. An unknown frequency was hailing him. Theron halfway considered just ignoring the call. He didn’t want to speak to anyone, to be frank. But for whatever reason, he decided to answer.

“This is restricted frequency, so whoever the hell you are, I’d like to know how you got it,” he answered brusquely.

“Lana Beniko told me you were Ziost, I just needed to know… if you…”

It was him. Cipher Nine. Theron nearly fell out of his chair.

“Teht, what the hell are you doing?” he hissed. “You’re going to get us both killed!”

“You’re alive. Thank the Maker you’re alive. I thought for sure you’d be dead. The whole planet, Theron, it’s…”

“I know, I was there. You still haven’t answered my question. We both know you shouldn’t even be speaking to me right now.”

“I could fly the Republic flag in my office right now, Theron. Marr wouldn’t notice. The business with Revan, and now the Emperor? I’ve barely seen him for months. I hear he’s been working with your mother. Figures.” Theron didn’t respond to that. He’d seen Marr on the Yavin moon and thought the same thing. “……Where are you Theron? I want to see you. Please.”

Theron felt his stomach churn. He wanted to tell him where he was. He wanted nothing more to see Cipher Nine again, but he knew that the Cipher wanted more than to just talk, and he wasn’t sure if he should be considering that prospect as seriously as he was. Not now that he had Ixaleii. Sure enough, him and Ix had never defined exactly what they meant to each other, if what they had was even… anything. But it felt like something. It meant something to him. And it made him feel guilty to even be considering meeting with Teht. But right now? Cipher Nine would be able to give him the pure, physical relief he so desperately wanted at that moment. Plus the chance to be in the presence of someone who understood what it meant to regret, to have blood on their hands, who wouldn’t judge, who  _truly_ wouldn’t judge? He  _needed_  that.

“…I haven’t left Ziost. What’s left of it. I had to… get a colleague up to speed.”

“Meet me on Dromund Kaas. I’ll send coordinates where you can land safely and easily. I’ll meet you there.”

The transmission ended, and Theron sat in silence, chewing his bottom lip in consternation. This was a bad idea. He knew it was. But he punched the coordinates for Dromund Kaas into his navicomputer all the same.

He landed at the coordinates Cipher Nine provided him with mere hours later, and like the Cipher said it would be, it was easy and it he made it down safely. No sooner had he finished the landing sequence did he hear the personal comm on his wrist beep at him. He answered, knowing who it must be.

“Yeah, Teht?”

“I’m outside your airlock. Open it for me?”

“Jeez, have you been camping out here since you called me?”

“Just do it, Theron.”

Theron obliged, and the moment he opened the door, he felt lips crashing into his. Theron gasped, and couldn’t help but moan as Cipher Nine forcefully pinned him against a wall and grabbed his hair by the fist-full. The Chiss scarcely let Theron draw breath, just kept kissing him, their teeth colliding hard enough that Theron was sure he tasted blood.

From there, Cipher Nine began to kiss at Theron’s neck, pulling at the collar of his shirt in order to get at even more bare skin, leaving hickeys and bite marks anywhere he could. Without warning, he seized Theron by the shoulders.

“Turn around,” he growled, pushing him. Before Theron had even turned completely, Teht was grasping at his belt and the fly of his pants. It happened so quickly, Theron hadn’t even had time to realize how hard he was. Teht fucked him right there up against the wall, coming within minutes, and he jacked Theron to completion just as quickly. Breathing heavily, and leaning against Theron’s back, the Cipher finally spoke his first sentence of more than two words strung together since stepping foot on Theron’s ship.

“I’ve missed you so much, Theron,” he said, winded. “I nearly lost my mind when I thought you were dead.”

“I’m here, Teht,” Theron assured gently. “I’m okay.”

Cipher Nine cleaned them both up as quickly as he could manage using the closest cloth, and went to help Theron pull up his pants.

“I have a speeder parked outside,” he said, fastening Theron’s belt. “You’re spending the night with me. I have an apartment in the city.”

There was something about how on edge Cipher Nine seemed that made Theron very nervous. He didn’t like it at all.

“Teht, are you okay?”

“Me?” the Chiss asked, now pulling up his own pants. “I’m not worried about me right now, Theron. You’re the one who watched a whole world burn…”

Theron didn’t push it after that. He rode with Cipher Nine into Kaas City, to apartment, and let the Cipher fuss over him in a way he’d never expected to experience.

“You really should have let someone look at these burns,” he said disapprovingly, applying Kolto patches to places on Theron’s chest where his various implants had singed his skin after being shocked with large amounts of electricity. “Electrical burns usually go deeper than they appear.”

“I’m fine, Teht, I keep telling you.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” the Chiss said curtly. “I trained as a medical officer.”

“If you’re this worried about me, why weren’t you a bit gentler with me back on the ship?” Theron said, massaging at his bruised neck. “You really did a number on me.”

Cipher Nine went dusky purple in his cheeks, blushing. He tried his hardest to not meet Theron’s eyes.

“I just… I really wanted you,” he said shyly. “It’s been so hard, Theron. I’ve been very lonely without you.”

“This is a nice place you have here,” Theron remarked, eager to change the subject. And it was. The apartment was spacious and well furnished, albeit a bit stark.

“Marr supplied it,” Cipher Nine said flatly. “I’m not in the field much anymore.” Theron was stunned. Cipher Nine was probably the best agent the Empire had. No wonder they were losing the war. “Evidently, Lana Beniko believes I’m too volatile and unpredictable, and Marr values her opinion much more than mine.”

Theron could hear the bitterness in his voice clearly, and he didn’t blame Teht one bit. He respected Lana, he truly did. Probably even borderline liked her. For a Sith, she was well reasoned and fairly principled, and good at her job. But as the Minister of Sith Intelligence? It didn’t take a seasoned spy to realize just how out of her depth she was. Putting a spy like Cipher Nine on desk duty was a huge mistake. But then again, the Cipher most likely had escaped Ziost because of it.

“They’re sending me into Wild Space soon.”

That stunned Theron even more.

“What?”

“There have been some odd reports: explorers going missing, ships being downed under mysterious circumstances.  I’m glad to do it, it will be a welcome change of pace. But why now? Are they just trying to get rid of me? I don’t understand the logic in it. I was too unpredictable to send to Ziost, but I’m fine to go out into the crushing black?”

“You should be thankful you didn’t have to be on Ziost, Teht. You didn’t have to see what I saw.”  Cipher Nine was silent, but Theron could tell by his expression he was waiting to see if Theron wanted or needed to talk about just exactly it was that he  _had_  seen. Theron wasn’t really sure he was ready himself, but the words came pouring out nonetheless. “It was the most vicious and sadistic thing I’ve ever seen. Half the people he killed, he just did it to have fun. He had no intention to let a single one of them live, but he could have just killed them all in the blink of an eye and been done with it. He wanted to give us false hope. He wanted to  _toy_  with us.” Theron was starting to lose his composure now. “I should have never brought my people into it. It was such an unholy mess. Saresh bringing in all those Republic soldiers… It was all my fault. Thousands of lives lost, good soldiers who were just trying to do their jobs, all dead, all because of me.”

Theron broke down then, let loose the torrent of emotion he’d been holding in throughout the whole ordeal. Cipher Nine said nothing, just held him and let him weep.

“I can’t believe I let this happen,” Theron sobbed. “I can’t believe I let him lure me in and best me like that.”

“It really was him?” Cipher Nine asked, grim. “The Sith Emperor?”

Theron nodded, wiping at his face in embarrassment. He hated crying in front of people.

“Shhhh, Theron. It’s okay,” Cipher Nine said, catching Theron’s wrists when he noticed what the SIS agent was doing. “If it truly was him, there was nothing you could have done. He’s evil incarnate, and he’s cunning. No one could have outsmarted him.”

“But the Republic shouldn’t have been there. The Sixth Line… Master Surro didn’t have to see what she saw, watch the Emperor murder innocents using her hands. I screwed up, Teht, I—”

“Theron. Don’t. The Emperor did this, not you.” He stroked the side of Theron’s face, wiping at tears with his thumb. “I’m just happy you’re alive.”

Cipher Nine kissed him gently, and Theron could have easily burst into tears again from the pure relief the feeling of warm lips brought to him. He kissed back, desperate to lose himself in sensation and pleasure. He felt Cipher Nine lift him and begin to carry him into a different room, and Theron knew then his desire was going to be met.

This time, Teht was as gentle as he had been rough mere hours before. He lavished kissed on Theron from head to toe, treated him like he was the most precious thing on the planet, and brought him slowly and gently to one of the best orgasms Theron had experienced in his life. Teht came himself shortly after, crying Theron’s name. They were very still for several minutes after that, both of them just wanting the feeling to last. Theron could feel drowsiness coming over him, and he struggled to remember the last time he’d slept.

“Run away with me Theron.”

Theron felt his stomach drop, jolting him fully alert and awake.

He didn’t say anything. How could he? He never would have shown up had he realized how strongly Teht felt about him. Theron had always assumed, back when they were seeing each other, that the attraction on Cipher Nine’s side was purely physical. But it wasn’t. Theron could see it plain as day now. The Chiss was in love with him.

“They’re sending me to Wild Space, people die there all the time. If I disappeared, Marr wouldn’t think twice. I know there’s as little for you in the Republic as there is for me in the Empire. Please, Theron. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Teht, I-I’d” Theron stammered. “I’d have to think about it, I—”

“I don’t expect you to have an answer for me right now, Theron,” Teht said. “Or even tomorrow. But please consider it. I… I love you.”

“I know you do,” Theron said gently, unable to think of what else to say.

Cipher Nine kissed him and stood.

“I’ll get something to clean us up with,” he said. Theron nodded, not trusting himself to speak as the guilt in his stomach threatened to make him violently ill. This had been a terrible idea. He shouldn’t have come. He should have been honest. He still had feelings for Teht, very strong feelings, but the feelings he had for Ix were stronger. Theron never conceived that he could possibly feel even guiltier than he already did after what he went through on Ziost, but now he’d reached a spectacular new low.

When Cipher Nine came back, Theron feigned sleep, unable to face him. How gentle Teht was cleaning him up and pulling blankets over him only made Theron feel even worse. He tossed and turned the whole night, and left in the morning feeling groggy and full of self loathing.

A few weeks later, he received the holo he’d been dreading.

“Teht,” he said when he answered. “I…” Words failed him, and he just chewed his lip. The Cipher sighed.

“You’re not coming with me. I knew it.”

“Teht, I can’t,” Theron said. “I can’t leave my life here. There may be nothing for you in the Empire, but there’s still  _something_  for me here in the Republic. The work I’m doing is important. I can’t abandon it. I can’t leave everything I’ve ever known.”

“Is it another man?” the Chiss said, accusing. Theron felt fear flood him. Even over a holo, those glowing red eyes were unnerving to be on the receiving end of a glare from.

“It’s not another man,” Theron promised, but the even the lie by omission made him squirm. He just knew the truth would hurt Teht even more. “Teht, I just can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t.”

“I understand,” Cipher Nine said. Theron could tell he was devastated, but he knew there was nothing he could do.

“Take care of yourself, And’it’tehtann. I’ll be thinking about you.”

“You take care of yourself too, Theron Shan.”

A month later Theron got the news. Darth Marr’s flagship had been shot to pieces in Wild Space by an unknown fleet. Ixaleii and Marr had been kidnapped by an Emperor who called himself Arcann, and ruled an Empire known as Zakuul. A “Commander Anditeht Tann” was listed among the dead.

Theron’s life had shattered.

Of course, Theron made it through. He had to. Lana had contacted not long after that confirming Ixaleii was alive, albeit in a carbonite prison. She too wanted to get the Captain free. Throwing all of his energies into Ix’s rescue, as well as looking for her companions, ended up being the only thing that kept him from falling into despair. But Cipher Nine, and the way that had ended? That haunted Theron. Not a day went by where he didn’t think of his former lover and feel the knots of guilt twist in his stomach like knives.

And that was why, he figured, he was so excited to see him now. He didn’t care how awkward it was going to be to see an ex he’d been so deeply involved with, just the fact that Cipher Nine was  _alive_  was a damn miracle. He was running, and he had no idea why or what he was even expecting. He just had to see if it was Teht. He just had to speak to him.

“Theron!” Ixaleii called as he approached. “Good thing you’re here, there’s someone I want you to meet. He’s the reason we might finally have the edge we need to take on SCORPIO. Theron Shan, I want you to meet—”

“And’it’tehtann,” Theron said plainly. They were face to face now, and there was no mistaking it: it was him. The Chiss stared at him, blue skin blanching to a pale, pastel, color. Theron could see that just the same as him, their entire history together was replaying in Cipher Nine’s head. Theron could barely hear anything but the sound of blood and his heartbeat rushing through his ears as they stared each other down, red eyes locked on hazel. Then the Cipher opened his mouth to speak, and it was almost as if all other noises were falling away.

“Theron Shan,” he said, the barest hint of emotion breaking through his spy’s composure. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard from you, seeing you face to face is… an unexpected pleasure.”

 “So Agent Shan, you know my Agent?” Kaliyo Djannis said, sounding genuinely surprised. Theron, once again, found himself ripped away from the depth of his thoughts. Kaliyo was an infamous Rattataki anarchic-terrorist, and ironically enough, one he himself had scouted as a potential recruit to the Alliance. Now she worked for Ix, explosions, mayhem and broken hearts almost always following in her wake. Theron had to admit, he wasn’t sure why she was there at this moment. She didn’t usually greet new assets. And it only got weirder when she linked her arm through the Cipher’s elbow. “Wish I’d known. Maybe we could have invited you to the wedding.”

That was the one thing in his life Theron had never expected to hear. His brain screeched to a halt, crashing spectacularly, and he knew he must have looked stupid, standing there wide-eyed, his mouth slightly agape. Once he’d realized Teht had been alive for the past however many years they’d been out of contact, Theron knew the Chiss had probably moved on. But  _Kaliyo Djannis._

“I thought you were dead,” Theron said plain and somewhat dazed, ignoring completely what he’d just heard and directing his attention back to Cipher Nine. The Cipher’s expression did something weird then, and Theron felt like he could almost see the same hailstorm of conflicting emotions currently whirling through his own brain spinning through Teht’s as well.

“I just needed to disappear for a while,” he said in a quiet and strangely guilty tone. “I told you that what I was planning. You didn’t want to come with me.”

“Yeah, I thought you meant disappear quietly. Not being listed among the mangled corpses pulled from the wreckage of Marr’s flagship… w-with pictures a-and—”

“Ooooookay! So you two have history! Greeeeat!” Ixaleii interjected, heading off the situation before it became anymore unstable. “Well I’ll be keeping that in mind. Uh, Theron my dear, do you mind coming with me for a moment?” Theron nodded stupidly, and his partner turned to her new recruit. “Commander Tann, it really is great to have you on board. I’ll let Kaliyo show you around the base.”

Cipher Nine nodded vaguely, not looking away from the way Ixaleii had grabbed Theron by the arm. He only looked away when Kaliyo pulled him by his own arm.

“C’mon, we’ll hit the cantina first. Grub is actually pretty decent. I know you’re  _starving_ , and I could use a stiff drink, so…”

The Cipher gave Theron one more meaningful look before allowing himself to be led away. Theron wasn’t sure what he’d expected out of a reunion, but it wasn’t… that.

“Theron. Come on.”

Theron followed Ixaleii to her headquarters, silent. The Commander was being uncharacteristically quiet herself. She didn’t speak a word until the doors had firmly shut behind them.

“Okay. You’re going to have to tell what the hell that was about, Theron Shan.”

Theron winced.

“He’s an ex,” Theron said shrugging, trying to play the whole thing off despite knowing he’d never be able to. “We parted under less than perfect circumstances.”

“Yeah. I gathered that. Between the moon-eyed stares, the awkward silences and the weird, cryptic comments, I felt like I was back on the XS watching holo-dramas with Corso.” Theron swallowed. Ix had never once been the jealous type, the fact that she had more than one husband sort of precluded that, but her tone sounded sharp.

“I thought he was dead,” he said. “Am I not allowed to remember a dead man fondly?”

Ixaleii shook her head.

“Theron. You’re  _allowed_  to do whatever the hell you want. I don’t own you, for one, two, I am the  _last_ person in the galaxy who is going to judge you. What I’m struggling with here is that you’ve never so much as  _told_  me about this dude, and now I’ve recruited him to help  _my_  Alliance, and I’ve got you–my Chief of Operations no less– making the eyes at this poor guy like you two just broke up five days ago. He’s  _intelligence_  Theron, you’re the one he’s supposed to liaising with, you’re the one who’s supposed to brief him, find out what he knows about SCORPIO… Are you even going to be able to do that?”

“……You never told me you were bringing him in.”

“I sent you a memo! And don’t say you didn’t read it, because you read all of them, we both know you do. It was pretty plain, Theron: I established contact with a former Imperial Intelligence officer who Kaliyo, Lana, and even the weird Rakghoul guy down in Research and Development were all willing to vouch for. And he was willing to provide us intel on SCORPIO. If the rumors are true, Cipher Nine knows more about her past than anyone else alive.”

Theron bit his lip, petulant. She had told him. The fact that he hadn’t made the connection was pretty embarrassing.

“You didn’t say it was Cipher Nine! You didn’t give me a name, a file, anything!” he tried, defensively. Ixaleii was glaring at him now. Theron shook his head. It wasn’t worth arguing. He was drained. “I’ll be… fine. We work well together, we have in the past. My… personal feelings are irrelevant. Is he a permanent addition to our ranks?”

Ixaleii softened, sensing Theron’s weariness. She ran her hand over his cheek.

“No, darling, he doesn’t really seem very interested in joining the fight.” Theron nodded. That was good at least. “ _Why_  didn’t you tell me about him, Theron?”

Theron swallowed. There was no getting around it, he’d have to tell her. Everything.

“Because it’s still an open wound,” he said. “And because I’m ashamed of how I acted.”

He told her the whole story, from start to finish, and Ixaleii, to her credit, simply held his hand through the whole thing and listened intently.

“I made my choice back then,” he said, finishing up. “Which is why it bothers me so much that I’m reacting like this to seeing him alive. It was over.”

“I mean, you thought he was dead. That’s pretty heavy.”

Theron shook his head reflexively, and pinched the bridge of his nose. Minutes before he had been ecstatic to see Cipher Nine alive, but now the reality of the situation was just giving him a headache.

“So,” Ix said. “What do you think; do you have a chance with him now?” Theron couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ix, you are quite possibly the only person in the galaxy who has ever encouraged their husband to get back with an ex,” he said. She shrugged.

“I have Corso. It’s only fair.”

Theron smiled at her.

“You’re so considerate.”

“Aren’t I?” she said, jokingly. Theron kissed her, appreciative. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Jeez, Ix. I dunno,” Theron said, running his hands through his hair. “Honestly, as intense as our relationship was, I did make a choice. I’ll probably always have some sort of love for him in my heart. But I have you now. And honestly? You’re all I need.”

Ixaleii smiled, obviously touched.

“You’re sure?” she said.

“I’m sure,” he confirmed. He reached out to his wife, touching her face gently. “Plus it’s a moot point regardless. He’s married too, after all. And I dunno, I don’t think his wife would be as understanding as you. For some reason, I kind of see Kaliyo as the jealous type.”

She laughed.

“Theron, if there is any love in that marriage, I swear, I will eat my favourite hat,” Ix said, scoffing. “Like, the really big one with the huuuuuge brim. That is one hundred per-cent a ‘marriage’ of convenience. ……But you’re going to be okay?”

Theron nodded. He wasn’t sure if that was true, but it was true enough. He wasn’t looking forward to having to work in close proximity with a man who he had such a tumultuous past with, but that was his life and this was his job.

“I need a drink, though,” Theron mumbled under his breath. Ixaleii laughed at him.

“Finish your work day before you hit the bottle, Agent,” she said. “I love you.”

She pecked him on the cheek before turning to leave, and Theron just sat there for a moment.

“I love you too,” he called after her weakly. He could feel the pressure building behind his eyes. What a massive headache.

Considering he couldn’t get drunk anymore since having the brilliant idea to implant himself with a device that metabolized alcohol, Theron didn’t often find himself in the base cantina. This day was a definite exception. After finishing his work for the day, the spy found that he was eager to test the limits of his alcohol metabolizing implants more than he ever had in the past. He was hoping his presence would go unnoticed, but of course, he wasn’t so lucky.

“We don’t see you in here often, Theron!” Koth Vortena called cheerily from across the bar. “Work finally get too boring for you?”

Theron tried to force a laugh, but the attempt must have been painful to watch, because Koth made a strange face before turning to his crew and making his excuses.

“Give me a second guys, I’ll be back.”

The Zakuulian captain sat beside Theron on his quiet end of the bar, a concerned look on his face.

“So. I know we don’t talk much,” he said. “But I gotta tell you, you look like hell. Are you doing okay?”

Theron couldn’t help but laugh—a real one this time, but dark and slightly bitter.

“Like hell, huh?” he said. “Thanks Koth.”

“Any time. But seriously: Are you all right? Did you and the Commander…?”

“Do I really look that bad?” Theron asked, incredulous. “No! Nothing that… dire. It’s stupid, actually. Ex of mine… came back from the dead. Married.”

“Ouch,” Koth winced. “Married. Whew, that’s… How’d you think she died?”

“How do any of our loved ones die recently? Arcann. The Eternal Fleet. The ship he was stationed on was shot to intergalactic dust.”

“And the guy comes back from that, and he’s married to someone else?”

“Oh. Not just anyone. Married to  _Kaliyo._ ”

Koth’s eyes went wide.

“No way! She brought him by earlier! You and that guy? I knew you were brave, Theron, but that Chiss looked like he could have torn your entrails out with his bare hands and not even been bothered.”

“Usually I prefer a vibroknife when I’m doing entrail spilling, to be perfectly honest.”

Theron and Koth both jumped.

“I’m…  gonna go,” Koth said before sliding away awkwardly and returning to his crew.

Cipher Nine’s expression was unreadable as he sat beside Theron and signaled the bartender to order some sort of Alderaanian drink Theron had never heard of before.

“I didn’t marry her for love, you know,” the Cipher said dispassionately.

“Huh?”

“Kaliyo and I. We aren’t romantic.” Theron didn’t say anything. “She and I used to travel together back when I first became a Cipher agent. We met up again on Zakuul a few years after Marr’s ship went down. Appearing to be husband and wife opened a lot of doors for us when we started working together again, and when it came down to it, having the actual ceremony was less hassle then forging the documents.”

“So you’re not…?”

Cipher Nine actually laughed.

“No. Never. Kaliyo Djannis is a serial adulterer and a sociopath, and a jealous one to boot. Not to mention, I’m simply not interested in what she—or any other woman for that matter—can offer me.”

“Oh,” Theron said, only slightly surprised. Cipher Nine used the pause in conversation to take a large gulp from his drink.

“I told you I’d never forget you, Theron. I meant that.”

Theron downed the entirety of his Corellian whiskey then, not sure he was prepared for where this conversation was going. Perhaps if he just overloaded the implant through sheer volume… He signaled the bartender. He needed the drinks to come a lot quicker if he was going to do that.

“…..But I understand now that I’m not meant to have you.”

That surprised Theron. He cocked his head to the side, looking to Teht for some sort of explanation. There was a slight flush to the Chiss’s dusky blue skin, and he almost seemed embarrassed, which was something Theron had never anticipated seeing from a man so famously known for his chilling demeanor.

“Do you want to talk about this somewhere more private?” Theron asked, his voice quiet and sincere, and Teht nodded almost immediately.

“Yes, I’d like that very much.”

Theron took his glass of whiskey and led Teht to one of the cantina’s private rooms. It was the same room that he and Ix had shared a similar sort of conversation in when they’d reunited after her time spent as a prisoner of Zakuul, and it had the perfect combination of seclusion and comfort. Theron immediately sat on the couch there, and waited to see what the Cipher was going to do. Teht sat as well, on the opposite side of the room, and mused silently for a few moments before speaking.

“Kaliyo told me about your relationship with the Commander. She’s… she’s the reason you couldn’t come with me, isn’t she?”

“Yes,” he said quietly, knowing he couldn’t lie.

“You love her, don’t you.”

“……Yes, of course.”

“How long?”

Theron swallowed, knowing exactly why Teht was asking.

“Six and half years, more or less, though she was imprisoned in carbonite for most of it.” Theron could see Teht doing the mental math. “I met her  _after_ Marr broke us up, Teht. Probably about a year after. I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again.”

“So the night on Dromund Kaas…?”

“I was already involved with her, yes.” Theron watched the Cipher deflate a bit, obviously hurt, and felt his guts twist. “That doesn’t mean that night meant nothing to me.”

“We’re adults, Theron. You don’t have to lie,” Teht said flatly. Theron frowned.

“……You shattered my heart to pieces when you told me we couldn’t be together anymore, you know,” he said, unsure where he was going by leading the conversation in this direction. Cipher Nine seemed just as surprised.

“Marr would have killed you.”

“I know he would have, that’s not—” Theron paused, looking to his feet, trying to sort through what he was feeling. “I was  _devastated,_  Teht. When I met Ix, I absolutely did  _not_ take it lightly that she was my first relationship after… after you. I still had feelings for you then, I still do to this day. Dromund Kaas was a mistake, yes, but it wasn’t for the reasons you’re thinking. There is a piece of my heart that will always belong to you. Whether you believe that or not is your own prerogative, I guess. But I couldn’t just stop living because we’d never be together again.”

Cipher Nine regarded Theron quietly for a few minutes before speaking again. His glowing red eyes were as inscrutable as they ever had been, but Theron got the distinct impression that the man was just as in love with him as he ever had been.

“You’re never going to leave her,” he said finally. “That’s what all of this amounts to in the end.”

“…Yes. I love her.” Theron said, and the words hung in the air between them. Teht didn’t speak, just finished his drink. Theron looked to his own whiskey in his hand, and took the opportunity to down it. He only wished that he could feel it. Eventually the Cipher sighed deeply, and put his glass down on the table between them.

“Theron, it’s okay,” he said. “You don’t have to feel guilty on my account. I’ve had six years to reconcile with the fact that we were never going to have a relationship again. I’ve made peace with it.”

Theron smiled sadly.

“If things had been different—” he began, but Teht cut him off.

“I know,” the Chiss said quietly. “You don’t have to say it. Fate had different plans for us. You have your Commander. You two were meant for each other, it’s plain enough to see. And me? Well… I’m sure fate has some plan for me as well. At least I’m finally free.”

Theron smiled again, this time less sad, and more at peace. He stood, and Teht mirrored the action. At first, as he closed the distance between them, Theron had intended to merely shake his former lover’s hand, but somewhere in the three paces it took to reach the other side of the room he found himself drawing the man into his arms instead. They held onto each other quietly for a long a time, things that were better left unsaid exchanging between them as they embraced. Theron thought maybe he heard a sob or two as he held on, but said nothing. They’d loved each other once. No matter how things were now, that was always going to be the case.

“Thank you,” Theron said quietly as he pulled away, and Teht nodded, wiping his eyes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Agent Shan,” he said quietly, and then left the room.

Theron sat down again, and though he wasn’t sure if he felt especially good or happy, ultimately he was glad that the conversation had happened. He stayed there, alone for several hours, just lost in his thoughts, glad for the opportunity to enjoy the peace and closure.

Cipher Nine. And’it’tehtann.

Finally, their story was at its end.

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one shot vignette that is intended to bridge and fill in the gaps between “As the Stars May Yet Be Tamed” and the new multi-chapter fic I’m working on.
> 
> Romancing Theron Shan as a Republic character was great, obviously. I based a whole 16k fic on how much I enjoyed the experience. Romancing Theron as an Imperial? Fucking fuck me. The angst. I lived. So yeah, this fic is basically based around working that same angsty “star-crossed lovers” desperation into a slightly altered setting, one in line with the events of my first fic where Ixaleii is the Outlander. Honestly, more than anything I really wanted a chance to explore Theron’s queerness/bisexuality more than just as a throwaway line in the first fic. I started this intending it to be a full length sequel to As the Stars May Yet Be Tamed.
> 
> Luckily, the plot I had in mind also easily fit into the canon plot of Knights of the Fallen Empire. Unluckily, I didn’t finish it before “The Battle of Odessen” released, and as such my original plot kind of fell to pieces I abandoned this as a sequel. I’ve kept the scenes that I enjoyed but nuked most of the plot that dealt with taking on SCORPIO and Vaylin. Now it focuses almost exclusively on Theron’s relationship with Cipher Nine


End file.
